Thursday, September 8, 2011

It's A.....!!

One year ago today my sweet Sof, I had the amazing opportunity to see you growing inside of me for your 20 week ultrasound. You were amazing! I remember clearly, waking up in the morning and having butterflies in my stomach, I was so excited but also wanted to make sure you were healthy. Your Aunt Cathy and I went to the appointment and laughed hysterically as we watched your  active, sassy self. My favorite part of the day was when the u/s tech kept "flipping" the wand and told us that you did not have your hand up by your head as we first believed in one were covering both ears completely with each hand as if to say "I have heard enough!" I remember giggling through my joy-filled tears exclaiming that, "I thought I had at least 12 years or so before I had to face that look".
I never could have imagined that I would never even get the chance to deal with your pre-teen attitude. Call me crazy, but I would love to have the opportunity to face those pre-teen and teen aged moments with you...even the really bratty ones. 
Your 20 week ultra sound was the most special 45 minutes of my life. I watched carefully as they checked your ventricles, both heart and brain, to make sure they were perfectly healthy for you...and they were!
You were the picture perfect healthy baby.
We eagerly anticipated the moment of learning your gender and made us sweat it our for a bit. The tech continued to work for that picture, and finally almost 35 minutes into the u/s....the results were in! She froze the screen on the identifying parts and I immediately knew...Aunt Cathy was so excited as she kept yelling "what it is?! What are we looking at?!".
I cried as I exclaimed "It's a girl!"
I had been convinced that I was carrying a baby boy, would have bet my life savings on that. For being so in tune with you the whole pregnancy, boy did I misjudge that one. But there was one day, about a week before we found out, that I was driving in the car. Bruno Mars' "Amazing" came on the radio and as I turned it up loudly I said without hesitation, "Here's our song, Baby girl!" The moment I said it I laughed, that came out of no where...I then apologized to you in the event that you were a boy. But I guess my heart already knew. I was carrying a beautiful, perfect baby girl.
I called your daddy the minute the appointment was over, he was so sad to have had to miss it. We had decided we'd wait until we were home for him to learn of your gender, but he was so excited, he couldn't wait. He had me tell him over the phone immediately. He was so in love with you, already.
I had to go to work after your big ultra sound and could not wait for the day to be over.
When I called your daddy to tell him I was going shopping to buy you your first baby girl outfit, he proudly told me that he had already enrolled you in the class of 2029 of Our Lady of the Elms all girl catholic school.
From that day forward whenever we drove (and still drive) by that school, your daddy would joke that it was (is) "Sofie's school".
I was giddy as I raced into Babies R Us that day. I wanted to shout over the intercom, "I'm having a girl!"
I had planned on just getting one sweet daddy's girl outfit, but $75.00 later, I knew I was in trouble with a baby girl on the way! I could already picture what you'd look like in all of these sweet clothes.

And of course my favorite baby purchase ever was your perfect "Valentine's Day" dress. I fell in love the moment I saw this sweetly hanging in the store. I knew that you needed to have that dress, I just never anticipated just how special it would become.
It was the same dress that I slyly wrapped up to announce your gender to Grammie...I wrapped it so only the navy blue showed at first. Her eyes smiled when she saw the blue, assuming you were a boy, and then as she picked it up and saw the perfect red hearts and the adorable full length of the dress, her eyes sparkled with joy! You had stolen everyone's hearts.
I'm not going to lie, Sweet Pea, there have been moments when I have stared at your pretty 20 week photos, or when I have looked back on that day, when I have felt more pain than joy. I am so sorry for that. I have looked at those pictures and have been so angry that I can't warn the you in those u/s pictures or the me in pregnant photos about what lies up ahead. But I have decided that having those amazing moments with you, even while still inside of me; getting to peek in on your world, watch your active self and that personality that already seemed so apparent, falling absolutely in love with you as Sofia Isabella from the moment that was confirmed...those moments are nothing to be sad about. Those moments were real and I will treasure those sweet ones forever. From September 8, 2010 onward, you became, Sofia "Sofie" Isabella Dente, our precious baby girl. My heart would begin to feel a love that I have never known, a love that is so pure, so honest, so full, and all for you. As your beautiful prayer cards read at your services:
"Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
 Before you were born, I loved you...
 Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
 This is the miracle of life."

I love you baby girl, it has been a true joy and honor to get to know you...really know you, Sofia Isabella, for the past year. Always proud to be your the moon and back baby girl, always and forever. ♥♥

1 comment:

  1. 8i8
    Beautiful, as always, Lori. I am happy to see you be able to celebrate one year of knowing Miss Sofie, as no one else ever could. I hope there are many more happy moments and memories ahead, and for the ones that bring you pain, I sit.