My sweet Sof,
Something amazing happened today. Something truly amazing. After spending a good amount of time visiting with you at your site today, having one of my heart to hearts with you...after many tears flowed freely down my face; I breathed deeply and headed home. Every second of that drive was spent wishing you would be there when I walked in. It's probably a silly thing to continue to wish for...but silly as it is, I know I will wish that forever.
When I got home, I wiped away the tear stains that seem permanently attached to my cheeks somedays, and checked our mail. There was a package addressed to all three of us. Perplexed, as I hadn't been expecting anything, I opened it with care.
I immediately saw an envelope addressed to me and your daddy. It was from mama's old friend, Miss Claire, the one who climbed the Pike's Peak challenge in honor of you this past September...she is also the official creator of the original Team Sofie clothing line. :)
She had enclosed a beautiful thank you card for a donation that was made in your name to support her climb. Her thank you was comprised of the most breathtaking photos of Pike's Peak, her exquisite journey to the top, and a sweet, sweet photo of you.
It was perfect.
My moist eyes then noticed a small white box that remained in the package. I pulled it out and noticed that the box was simply addressed to you. That sentiment alone filled my heart; but when I opened that box and saw what was inside for you...my full heart....well it overflowed with tears of love for you.
Miss. Claire sent you her gold medal that she received when she reached the summit of that great mountain. 14,115 challenging feet that she climbed & scaled all for you. I remember reading her comments when she finished and how moved she was when she received that gold medal at the top. And now that gold medal is yours.
As I tried desperately to see through my own tears and admire this beautiful medal...I couldn't help but smile. It shouldn't surprise me at all that YOU are the first member of our family (and likely only member) to receive a gold medal. You have accomplished great and wondrous things. Gold medals are given out to the highest achievers...and well baby girl...that you certainly are. I am so proud of you.
Weeks before you received this honorable gift, the world learned that a genius mind left this world to enter yours. Steve Jobs was brilliant and certainly gave a lot to this world. As media focused on his death and more importantly his life...I found myself intrigued and in the days just after you received your medal, his last words were revealed for the first time. I was moved as I read them in an article that also contained the Eulogy that his sister read at his funeral.
She spoke of his, "sweet capacity for wonderment, his belief in the ideal, and the still more beautiful later." The words that really touched me with their power, were when she continued that, "Death didn't happen to Steve, that he achieved it."
I couldn't help but think of you and your beautiful gold medal. It is a reflection of your incredibly powerful life, your ability to change hearts...to inspire... to radiate love. You, sweet Sof have achieved in life and in death.
Death did not happen to you, you achieved it.
You have achieved "the still more beautiful later"... and how I so wish that you were snuggled next to me this very minute, that I was washing loads of your sweet, sweet clothes, or changing yet another stinky, poopy diaper...my heart can find peace that you are already where I will hope to achieve to be...one day. I may never receive my own gold medal, I may never achieve the power to inspire love quite like you have and that is ok...because that day, whenever it may be, when we are reunited in that "beautiful later"...that will be plenty gift enough for me.
I find solace that Steve Jobs' family and friends were present to capture his last words: "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow." If the genius, logical & brilliant mind of Steve Jobs can be amazed and moved to those simple yet powerful words as he was about to enter "the still more beautiful later"; then how can I not believe that you have achieved complete greatness.
I love you sweet baby girl, and I am so proud of you, today..tomorrow...and in that beautiful later. ♥♥